I wonder why...

Wierd..
There were no hunger at the morning....
Just feel full on my stomach...
When it's come to lunch...
Suddenly i cry...
Just grab the feeling how to eat alone by yourself without anybody accompany u, thus it's others place you sat on...
Just with rice and egg...
It was so different...
So i though, i just have to go trough this path.. Please don't cry...
Please.. Just draw a smile with your lips and it's done...
Waiting for asr... I've feel i've lost my soul more...
Those goods come but no word thank u was sent...
I realized i don't deserve it.. I guess...
Then some word came... "It's all your fault"...
I couldn't say anything because i couldn't think anything...
Is it really my fault?...
There were a heavy rainpour over my heart..
I'm stuck... I'm stuck in this world.

i need a way out.. I need my spirit back... Ya Allah, please let my heart know u better, know u best although i know i couldn't...
But please, for my sake...
Let me know U better...
Sesungguhnya Engkau yg Maha Mengetahui.. Ammmeennn....